What I want vs What I do not want

Have been thinking about life and growing up in general these days. Talking to people about it have been very interesting. Some people have a very clear idea of what they want and they are able to outline the plans in details and how they are working towards them. Well, whether they actually do it is a different issue altogether, but at least they are clear on what they desire.

People with such traits are seen as decisive and having a tangible goal makes them appear to mature people who have clearly thought out their life path. On the other hand, people who are like adrift are probably seen in a more negative light – they have no idea what they want and are just floating to wherever life brings them.

I think I belong to the camp where I’m still trying to find out what I want in life.

I do have preferences and interests, but not exactly clear objectives like “I want to be a xx” or “I must die die get into XX Company”.  I didn’t have a one-track mind with regards to such things, unlike my obsession love for Korean but maybe that will change.. soon? ㅋㅋㅋ

However, I do clearly know what I do not want.

How can you truly know what you want? (sorry I just like to think about such stuff). Unless you tried it out, the “This is what I want” is simply “This is what I think I want”. You are lucky if they are both aligned, but more often than not, you may find that what you think you want isn’t what you want. (lol tongue twister)

For me, I have a very clear love for Korean. That is really quite indisputable by this point in time. However, I started learning Korean not because I think I will like it, but simply because I just feel like trying it out. I only grow to like it after giving it a try and 5.5 years, the passion is still burning strong.

So sometimes I don’t actually get the “I know what I want but I haven’t try it out but this is really what I want” mindset.

To be honest, when it comes to languages, I always thought that I will like Japanese more. When I was younger, the only foreign language that I thought I’ll ever want to learn is Spanish or Japanese. But turns out that I am now very much in love with Korean.

Life is funny in that way.

All these talk about what I want/what I do not want arises because I am .. job hunting.

hahahaha.

I think I’m getting closer to knowing what I want after coming back from the “chasingwhatithoughtiwantbutnah” trip. lol. Or maybe it’s what I don’t want that becomes clearer.

In any case, I am actually very very very interested in something (outside of Korean). It’s not something that I’ve tried, and to be honest, I won’t know if I really like it until I really did try. Let’s just say that I have a very favorable feeling towards it, just like how I feel about Korean.

And similarly, it’s something that I’m willing to work hard in, just like for Korean.

In the meantime, I’m going to start a part-time flexible internship that I am lucky to secure even before this whole thing ^^ It’s something that I actually enjoy and am interested in and to be honest I am doing it because I’m genuinely interested in the sector. Even though when asked why I wanted to do it I gave a typical pragmatic response because I’m not sure if “I just want to do it” is considered a reason or not lol.

Will work hard for both. Happy Sunday.