10 In Others / General

What I want vs What I do not want

Have been thinking about life and growing up in general these days. Talking to people about it have been very interesting. Some people have a very clear idea of what they want and they are able to outline the plans in details and how they are working towards them. Well, whether they actually do it is a different issue altogether, but at least they are clear on what they desire.

People with such traits are seen as decisive and having a tangible goal makes them appear to mature people who have clearly thought out their life path. On the other hand, people who are like adrift are probably seen in a more negative light – they have no idea what they want and are just floating to wherever life brings them.

I think I belong to the camp where I’m still trying to find out what I want in life.

I do have preferences and interests, but not exactly clear objectives like “I want to be a xx” or “I must die die get into XX Company”.  I didn’t have a one-track mind with regards to such things, unlike my obsession love for Korean but maybe that will change.. soon? ㅋㅋㅋ

However, I do clearly know what I do not want.

How can you truly know what you want? (sorry I just like to think about such stuff). Unless you tried it out, the “This is what I want” is simply “This is what I think I want”. You are lucky if they are both aligned, but more often than not, you may find that what you think you want isn’t what you want. (lol tongue twister)

For me, I have a very clear love for Korean. That is really quite indisputable by this point in time. However, I started learning Korean not because I think I will like it, but simply because I just feel like trying it out. I only grow to like it after giving it a try and 5.5 years, the passion is still burning strong.

So sometimes I don’t actually get the “I know what I want but I haven’t try it out but this is really what I want” mindset.

To be honest, when it comes to languages, I always thought that I will like Japanese more. When I was younger, the only foreign language that I thought I’ll ever want to learn is Spanish or Japanese. But turns out that I am now very much in love with Korean.

Life is funny in that way.

All these talk about what I want/what I do not want arises because I am .. job hunting.


I think I’m getting closer to knowing what I want after coming back from the “chasingwhatithoughtiwantbutnah” trip. lol. Or maybe it’s what I don’t want that becomes clearer.

In any case, I am actually very very very interested in something (outside of Korean). It’s not something that I’ve tried, and to be honest, I won’t know if I really like it until I really did try. Let’s just say that I have a very favorable feeling towards it, just like how I feel about Korean.

And similarly, it’s something that I’m willing to work hard in, just like for Korean.

In the meantime, I’m going to start a part-time flexible internship that I am lucky to secure even before this whole thing ^^ It’s something that I actually enjoy and am interested in and to be honest I am doing it because I’m genuinely interested in the sector. Even though when asked why I wanted to do it I gave a typical pragmatic response because I’m not sure if “I just want to do it” is considered a reason or not lol.

Will work hard for both. Happy Sunday.

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  • Reply
    Andy Tebay
    15 September, 2013 at 2:39 PM

    You know what, I think this is a question that changes over through experience. I know that in the past three years, what I thought I wanted has changed several times and changed once again recently. So don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t know because most people don’t either. Sometimes it takes time for it to pop out to you or for “that thing” to find its way in to your life. Hope all is going well!

    • Reply
      16 September, 2013 at 11:23 AM

      Heyy! ^^ How’s everything?

      I always wondered if my changing goals / directions is a good thing or if I’m just being fickle minded and indecisive ><; But then again, change is the only constant in life. I still feel a little lost at the moment, but trying hard to actively figure out what I want and to try new things out. Thanks!

  • Reply
    15 September, 2013 at 10:57 PM

    Very inspiring post!
    I had the same experience… wanted to learn German more than anything, but then I completed a master’s degree in Irish Studies and lived three years in Ireland and learnt… English and Gaelic! 😉 Life is always full of surprises, and full of good things for those who work for it.

    • Reply
      16 September, 2013 at 11:25 AM

      hahaha yeah life is indeed full of surprises! I never knew that I would love a language so much to dedicate an entire blog to it! (:

  • Reply
    15 September, 2013 at 11:48 PM

    wow.. same here.. thanks for share it ! 고마워요…

    • Reply
      16 September, 2013 at 11:26 AM

      ^^ Glad you enjoyed reading!

  • Reply
    15 September, 2013 at 11:52 PM

    우와.. 재미있다.. 고마워요..

  • Reply
    Loving Korean
    16 September, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    I hope I don’t change learning Korean from ‘what I want’ list to ‘what I don’t want’ list. I guess that would only happen if my boyfriend broke up with me 🙂

    But I must admit that so far in my life, when I decided I don’t want to do something any more I’ve never regretted it later

    • Reply
      16 September, 2013 at 11:28 AM

      hehe I’m hoping I won’t too! Now that I think about it, very few (or none) things are 100% guaranteed. But I do think Korean is too embedded in my life to be removed.

      Same here. Regret is a feeling that will really suck life out of you and I consider it as one of the most unhealthy feeling next to jealousy ><

      • Reply
        Loving Korean
        18 September, 2013 at 7:27 AM

        Yeah, I think since you’ve reached such a high level at Korean it’s impossible to remove it. But I just learned a few words and simple grammar. That would be really easy to forget.

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