After months and months of deliberating, internal struggle, periods of conviction coupled with times of uncertainty and doubt, I’ve finally made the decision. As I’m typing this, I’m still not 100% convinced of whether this decision is “good” or not, but I’m determined to give it my best shot.
I’ll be returning to Korea as a student, or more specifically, a graduate student. I’ve been accepted at a few universities in either the Korean literature and linguistics department (where all courses are taught in Korean) or Korean studies (courses in English). I’ve decided to go with 연세대학교’s offer of a place in their 국어국문학과 with a partial scholarship.
It’s both terribly exciting and terrifying at the same time. Terrifying because I’ll be uprooting myself (not that I have any 미련..) and plunging into the unknown. My topmost worry is the cost of living and tuition fees. Yonsei and Sinchon are not known to be the cheapest places so I’ll definitely be scrimping like mad and I’m likely to take on a part time job once I become eligible to do so. I hope everything will work out on that aspect. >< Life is never easy I guess.
Enough of the terrifying parts. I’m really very very excited because it feels like I’m going to fulfill a long-time dream of mine. I’ve always wanted to study 국어학 and I have wanted to study in Yonsei since years ago. Over the years, I’ve something of a lingering regret when it comes to Yonsei but I’m super glad that after coming a roundabout way, I’m back here to fulfill that dream. ^^
This decision is going to push me out of my comfort zone in many areas and one of which is that I’ll be doing my entire studies in Korean and I’ll have to write a dissertation in Korean. o.O Some people may feel that I’m being stupid or applaud me for being brave enough to try to attempt higher education in a language that is not my native language. Maybe it’s not very common here because everyone speaks English here but it’s definitely very normal for say… Japanese or Koreans to go like US to further their studies in English. If they can do that, so can I. I have no idea if getting accepted to graduate school in Korea is an “easy” thing or not, but I’m very grateful to be accepted even though Korean is still a very new language to me (5 years). hehe and I’ll be in the humanities department hahaha. I think I’m quite brave. LOL most people I know choose the International Studies department or like MBA when it comes to graduate studies in Korea.
I’m definitely going to make the most of this opportunity. Study what I love and also level up my Korean to be on par with the natives. It’s not going to be easy but I welcome the challenge. Do research, take exams, give presentations in Korean. ❤ OMG THE THOUGHT OF IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY HAHA.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I’m determined to make the journey to find out. This is no well-traveled route and there won’t be many (or any) to guide me through. Uncertainty is the norm and I have no idea what lies beyond. Good or bad, this is my decision and I’m sure going to stick with it and give my 100%.
Wish me luck.