Even for someone who loves Korea THIS MUCH, I am beginning to see how it’s not really easy for me to settle in this country. I’m actually feeling stressed out about certain issues these days, which explains my lack of posts and refusal to go out and meet anyone. Sometimes, I really wonder if I should keep all my negativities out of this blog but then again, I still think I should share (to some extent) my true feelings.
I might have mentioned this before. But going to Korea as a tourist, as a short term student, long term student, high level expat, low level employee etc etc all means very different experiences. The next 12 months is probably going to be a very very tumultuous time for me, and my life is probably going to undergo many major changes. I feel like I’m at this stage where I should start thinking about what to do with my life. Should I keep Korean as my pastime? Should I use it in my future work/study? What do I want in life? So many questions. Time to find an answer.
For my past trips, I am always a foreigner. But this time, the line feels slightly more blurred. I think I am looking more like a Korean (ermm or at least no one can really differentiate and tell that I’m not a Korean) and I can cheat people for a longer period of time with my Korean skills before they start wondering what I really am. So, in many occasions, I felt like I was being treated like a Korean. Also, I hang out with more Koreans compared to the previous times. Working Korean adults. Things feel really different. I am kinda expected to act like a Korean. Sometimes, I missed being treated as a foreigner. I no longer get the ‘your Korean is very good’ but rather ‘you have to improve on xxx’. 부족한 부분!!!!! *sadface*
Not that it’s not a good thing. Today I was tasked with translating some IT related powerpoint slides FROM ENGLISH TO KOREAN. >< I totally hope I was of a bit of help. And I sincerely hope that he can understand my crappy Korean.
I think I have been giving a lot of Koreans the impression that foreigners who have learnt Korean for around 4 years are all around the same standard as me. And that learning Korean is not that difficult and with time it will come naturally. Erm ok. Too much positivity?
Like I said, this is just a mess of my own negative mean thoughts. I just have to sort out everything before I leave Korea. (: