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Out of sight, out of mind

Lying in bed and blogging from the phone ^^ Been emptying my head of all sorts of thoughts for the past few days and it felt great. I’m really an out of sight, out of mind person. Or rather I’m good at pushing things to the back of my head and pretending that they do not exist. It’s a good thing sometimes, since it offers me a respite from the daily worries and stress. Feels good to be able to think of nothing but the current moment ^^

It’s a good thing to take a break from Korean too. The past month has been crazy and I also wanted to take a step backwards to reflect what Korean reallh means to me. It’s not going too well though. Since out of sight, out of mind. >< It's like how I used to be pretty good in chemistry and math but ever since I don't need to study them anymore, I have conveniently thrown out all related knowledge from my brain. I have problems even with simple math now lolol. So now I'm even more confused on what Korean really means to me. It feels like I've conveniently thrown it out of my brain. Which is horrible since Korean was a large part of my life and now it seems like I've nothing left wtf. I'm trying to be honest in the blog so this is really how I feel at the moment - lost. Questioning myself and trying to rationalise things doesn't seem to work too well for me hahaha. So I shall just DO IT. Plunge into the deep pool and figure things out lol.
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I shall leave you guys with a photo of my new erm friend ^^ hahahaha my favorite underwater creature.

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Another favorite… Staring at it is therapeutic~.

Really.

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9 Comments

  • Reply
    Van
    29 June, 2013 at 4:29 AM

    I’m sure it will come back especially if I have many questions to ask 😛 I do have some more Korean questions to ask eventually, but I don’t want to bombard you with so many questions. Maybe us, your viewers shall bring back your Korean!

    LOL btw what is the name of your underwater friend haha?
    PS: Sorry I haven’t been posting as much!

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      2 July, 2013 at 10:44 AM

      hey Van! 😀 looks like you have been working hard on Korean 😀 Will be glad to help!

  • Reply
    Clayton Wong
    29 June, 2013 at 7:02 AM

    Fish are great – they are totally dependent on you, and they are quiet and don’t talk back :P. about Korean, actually I think there is no end – it’s impossible to know absolutely everything about it. So I’m just happy to learn at least one new thing each day…, enjoy your rest 🙂

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      2 July, 2013 at 10:43 AM

      it’s therapeutic to watch them (: Love aquariums!!

  • Reply
    Vanessa
    29 June, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    I think you should continue your little break from Korean, and then one day you’ll just stumble in something related to it (like, idk, finding a book in korean you love under your bed) and all of your passion and feeling of understanding (what it means to you) will come back 😀
    Life is made of cycles, probably you are on a phase just taking a break to then come back to the normal “activities” ^^ Don’t feel pressured by emotions you may be feeling now 😀

    About your friends, the 1st one looks like has a mustache hahahaha

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      2 July, 2013 at 10:43 AM

      Thanks Vanessa! I certainly hope so. I am trying not to be too anxious about getting back into Korean, that will only increase the stress >< hehehe he has fat lips 😛

  • Reply
    Margo
    1 July, 2013 at 1:00 PM

    *sigh*
    I feel the same about Korean. Dont know if you remember me,but we went together to that Korean play last summer, 소연 언니 gave us free tickets. 🙂
    Since I’ve came back home that summer I feel like I changed so much that I don’t see in Korea and Koreans what I used to see and I couldn’t make myself study since then. It’s been a year pretty much and Im losing all Korean I’ve learned in the first two years of getting into it, but every time I take Korean book in my hands…I feel nothing. Before it would make me excited or frustrated (when I couldnt understand something) and I wanted to know more and more. Now I feel nothing towards Korea. I was very disappointed before,but now it feels like indiference came in place of disappontment. Like 열정이 식었다..이런 감정
    지금 왜 이런 글을 쓰는지 모르겠지만 그냥 갑자기 샤나씨의 생각 나서 블로그를 찾아오니까 내가 요즘 느끼는 거랑 샤나씨가 느끼는 게 비슷한 것 같아서….
    I hope you are doing great anyways. Lately I keep thinking of people I got to know “randomly” during last summer and the first time I went to Korea. It seems strange. 🙂
    배워 온 실력을 잃어가는 것 같아서 아쉽기도 하고 어쩌 할 수 없는 것 같기도 하는데 샤나 씨는요? 어떻게 할래요?

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      2 July, 2013 at 10:33 AM

      Margo!! Of course I remember you 😀 hehe it was fun hanging out with you!
      I thought I was the only one who felt this way :/ I can’t really pinpoint what is the cause of this “nonchalance” feeling towards Korean. I don’t really think that it’s because Korean is a passing fad to me and that something else has caught my interest, but I think my problem stems from Korean is increasingly something stressful to me and that I’m trying to escape somewhat from it. But lately I’ve made a decision that hopefully will reverse how I feel about Korean ㅋㅋ more on that next time!
      Back here I don’t hang out with any Korean friends, so in some ways Korean feels a bit far from me. Haven’t been back ever since too. 일시적인 느낌인지 모르겠네요 ㅋ

  • Reply
    Sabah
    3 July, 2013 at 2:27 AM

    Thank you for your honesty. I’m going to reciprocate but you are not obliged in any way to read on and or reply. Just want to wish you well and hope that you find peace within yourself and in your life soon!

    I have been trying to teach myself languages for a while now but not in an organized or ordered way, more just upon a whim. So I too sat myself down and gave myself a good talking to! Then I threw myself wholeheartedly into learning Arabic and Korean once again but this time with a lot more effort WHICH lasted about two or three weeks until doubt crept into my mind and like you I started questioning my choices. What’s the point of devoting so much of my life to language learning when it just might not be anything of benefit to me. Slowly this doubt impeded any zeal and fervour I had until I came to make or break time: would I make language learning a priority in my life considering that it might only be a part of the peripheral aspects of it?

    I drew up a list of my priorities. More than anything else, i.e. career, money, hobbies, I love meeting people and connecting to them, even if fleetingly. I love hearing about their lives but also interested which engages me with the world, the things it contains. I then realized that the most important thing needed here was language! Even if you stick a pin in supplementary aspects of your life, and just the essential, no matter how you look at it, language is very important and relevant. From poetry of lyrics in songs to the words of books and blogs, to media, and journalism and of course the internet, language is the means to opening them all. Eloquent, beautiful language. I then realized that any time I gave to language learning was never going to be a waste!

    I do understand your concerns about devoting so much time to something that needs continual work without a fixed goal. Things don’t always work out the way we think they will or might AND sometimes we just hope that if we start upon a path it will lead us somewhere but it doesn’t and we wonder have I just been wandering? However I have always taken as signs those things that my heart inclines towards. I might be making a mistake so please don’t take this as sound advice but just someone explaining how she managed to get over her doubts, for better or worse. I hope you find find your way back to the surface soon. With much love Sabah

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