Only with a past is there a future

Although this blog didn’t end up doing what it was initially created for (yes Hangukdrama was created with the intent to talk about K-dramas), it ended up being an online diary. It does not simply reflect who I am, but rather it brought out the best in me. This is why I find online blogs rather amazing. We are able to write our innermost and honest thoughts, but at the same time, there is also that sense of “good image” that we want to portray in front of our online audience.

In that sense, this blog is both an honest reflection of “me” and also the best “me”. The desire to appear positive drives me to become a more motivated and positive person. (: But lately I’ve realised that I’m treating this blog as a ranting space, which I think I shouldn’t. Ranting time and again is fine, but I’m beginning to dump a lot of negative feelings here – the only outlet I have. :/ Trying to refrain from doing that and bring back the positivity.

Recently, I’ve fallen in love with the world of history. ^^ I’m reading 대한민국사 recently, and while that book has taught me a lot about Korea’s history, it also made me realise that we are all who we are because of our past. I used to be someone who refused to look backwards. In fact, I would love to keep a lot of things in the past locked up and pretended that they all don’t exist. I refuse to look backwards, and concentrated on moving forward, secretly hoping that the past will just vanish as I move ahead. But these days, I can really see how my identity, who I am as a person, and my thoughts/actions are all highly influenced by my past – whether good or bad.

There are still things I’ll rather not mention, but I’m more able to see that the past is not something that I should be ashamed of or hide like crazy. I’m also beginning to appreciate how the past has shaped me to become who I am now. Of course, it’s not all good. There are things that I want to change and these changes can only be possible if I acknowledge the past. It’s hard to change anything when all I’m doing is negating and suppressing the past and refusing to face it straight on. (:

내 비뚤어진 성격 ㅋㅋㅋ

On to language matters!

I’m adopting a new method of reading + doing a lot in a given period. urm. Okay let me explain that. I used to like working on one specific thing for each language for a period of time. For example, I’ll only read 전우치 for Korean and Infection Game for Japanese that week. Or another week I’ll concentrate on Japanese grammar only. But these days I have at least 5 books I’m reading and a few other things I’m working on.

Why?

This is to find something language-related to do in all circumstances and moods.

Korean

A lot of time and good mood: Read 대한민국사 (Modern History of Korea). This is because I need to have full concentration to be able to tackle the difficult material and I simply don’t have the energy to do this after a long day at work

Some time and relatively good mood / subway reading: Read 엄마 부탁해

Some time and need a pick-me-up: Read 전우치 (this book is therapeutic I swear)

No time and bad mood: listen to kpop

Japanese

A lot of time and extremely studious mood: Learn Japanese grammar, use the grammar dictionary, prepare for JLPT N2

Some time and good mood: Detailed reading of Japanese novels (Infection Game/ Parallel World Love Story

Some time / subway reading: Parallel World Love Story / Inside Darling’s Mind

No time + need pick-me-up: Listen to Japanese podcasts

Bad mood + need therapy: Re-watch Japanese dramas / anime (Nodame!!)

So basically I’m like reading at least 5 books at the same time ><

I think this works for me. Because if I’m only to do one book at a time, I’ll never get to do it because I’ll never be in the “right mood”. But having different things to do in different moods, I ensure that I’m always doing something Japanese / Korean related 😀 😀

But of course that is based on the premise that there is time…..

😛

And yes, I’ve started on a new Japanese novel!! Parallel World Love Story by Higashino Keigo.

Liking it so far and technically it’s the first Japanese novel that I’m reading without knowing the story beforehand. For the other Japanese novels I’ve completed, I’ve actually seen the drama / movie before!