16 In Others / General

Non-replies the new norm?

The slew of non-replies that I’ve been getting (har) have been getting on my nerves. Have replies become a thing of the past? Of course not everything deserves a reply and eventually a party has to stop replying to avoid an infinitely long conversation. BUT. There are some things that still deserve a reply. When I tell you that I’ve not received the interview call and ask for clarification, I think I deserve a reply. When I ask for more information on something that you call me and ask me to do, I think I deserve a reply. ANYTHING. You can even tell me I’ve been disqualified suddenly or that the information will be given to me another time. ANYTHING.

Maybe I don’t deserve to rant. On the rare occasion, I do admit that I miss out emails, forgot to reply some or deliberately ignore some of the weirder stuff. If I don’t reply to everyone, maybe I don’t deserve a reply from everyone. But when the opposite party (who is the one making a request for help or something) ask for an ASAP reply and then when you give the asap reply and ask for more information etc, and they IGNORE YOU……. Encountered so many times when people act so friendly when they are asking for help but when you can’t provide it, they change their attitude immediately wtf.

Personally if I’m asking for help, I’ll ALWAYS be polite and accommodating. I’m grateful if people get to it fast and efficiently. If they reject me, I’ll still thank them for their time and reply. If I need to remind them, I’ll still enquire nicely. At the very least, I’ll make sure that communication / action on my part is fast, because I know that I’m inconveniencing them. BUT. These days I’ve been meeting more people who DEMANDS answers / stuff asap. Send me an email telling me how urgent it is and when I do my best to reply in a few hours/a day, I GET A REPLY A WEEK LATER OR NO REPLY. Thanks? If it’s so urgent, please show some sense of urgency on your part. People who ask for my help and then be LATE. Like 1 hour late kind of late. And they can still be nonchalant and unapologetic. -.-

Sometimes I want to tell them “I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING”

/rant over

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

May is coming to an end and then JUNE!! Loads of things happening in June so I’ll be reallllyyyy busy. Hopefully I can still keep up the blogging speed! Been working on my presentation for the conference, and I want to do a good job! I take pride in my own thesis and I really enjoyed the process, so I hope to share some of it with the audience!

—————-

Thanks for all the comments on the previous post!! 😀 😀 Thought through it again and decided that taking up the contest will be too much on my plate. Feel a little bad because I kinda agreed (under the circumstances of not knowing anything) when asked for an asap reply, but now I have to reject it. D: But I know that I won’t enjoy it if I’m being forced to do stuff at such short notice and have to constantly worry if the competition commitments will clash with other stuff (looks very likely). Korean is something that I enjoy and if I take part in a competition, I want to be able to have fun in the whole process and not get all stressed and worried! Texted the person in charge first thing in the morning. Well, no reply (as of now) but I shall assume that the person got my text.

Non-replies are indeed the new norm.

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16 Comments

  • Reply
    Clayton Wong
    28 May, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    You are correct – a reply is not too much to ask (hope I don’t fall into rage non- reply category). I guess it’s a little like thank you notes. However sometimes I think I may be getting on a person’s nerves, so I cut back. In any case, reading your blogs I can see you have a lot on your plate. I believe everything had a way of eventually working out. It may not be exactly what we want now, but it eventually will be equitably distributed. Hang in there 🙂

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:41 PM

      Thanks! I’m hanging in there 😛

  • Reply
    Yeorum
    28 May, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    I can completely relate to this and was in the exact situation earlier this year. I had been in negotiations with the CEO of a company to start writing for them on a regular basis…had two interviews with two different department heads…everything was a go…and suddenly communication just stopped. They had sounded very excited and eager to get started but something must’ve changed because that was it. Didn’t hear from them for weeks…politely emailed and still no reply. Cut off cold, just like that.

    To be honest, I was pretty jarred and it threw me off for a long time. I became super pessimistic about people, especially people with “power” and how easily they can brush off people they don’t need. It’s just frustrating. And I totally agree that the worst is the no-reply. I’d even prefer a “fuck off” email! There’s just something so humiliating about a non-reply…makes you feel like you’re at the absolute lowest rung on the totem pole.

    Anyways, just wanted to let you know you’re not alone! At this point I do think everything happens for a reason and that whoever ignores us we just weren’t meant to have in our lives. Something way better ended up coming along for me and now I thank my lucky stars that deal never went through. I’m definitely not the most optimistic person in the world but something better *will* come along. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to worry too much about it. In the end you still have your own integrity, and even though others might not do the same, the fact that you treat others with respect definitely counts for something.

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:41 PM

      urgh that sucks. Being in talks and going through the interviews meant that you are in the final round / close to an offer. The least they can do is give you a reply, even a standard “we wish you well in your future endeavors” would be better than nothing. hehe like what you said, even an impolite email is preferred. Happy that you ended up with something better! ^^ Hope it’ll be the same for me. ><

  • Reply
    Wong
    28 May, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    Hi Shanna,
    Firstly, relax and be patient till you can’t be anymore 🙂
    I encountered this everyday and sometimes it really gets on my nerves. I appreciate those who replies whenever the request is sent out and the feedback is given back. What can we do when the answer we wait for is not reply even for 1 1/2 weeks. That’s the max days I got at one time, what can we do when we need to have the feedback, wait and wait, if not you will irritate the people that you want the feedback from. These days, my patience is very good when I encountered this kind of situations.
    It sure test our patience ^o^

    Have a good day and I’m sure good things will happen when you wait for it.

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:37 PM

      hehe true! I’m totally happy to wait (or at least be really polite) if I’m the one needing the favor. But I’m still not a very patient person if it’s the other way round. I think it’s really a personal pet peeve, but I get annoyed when I have a stronger sense of urgency and efficiency than the person who needs the favor ><

  • Reply
    Dusky
    28 May, 2013 at 11:09 PM

    Aw, I’m sorry. It honestly is something to be frustrated about, especially when you are being polite and the other party is demanding. I admit that I don’t reply to everything but it’s mostly because I don’t know how to answer. If I don’t know what to say I tend to not say anything, especially if someone else was able give a suitable answer. I’ll try to come up with some awkward reply, even if it’s just to be polite and if it takes some time to reply the least a person can do is apologize. Saying this probably doesn’t help at all. :/

    Good luck with the conference! I’m sure you’ll do an amazing job! 🙂

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:35 PM

      hehe I’m a lot better now that I got it out of my system lol. Still trying to prepare for it and it’s not going too well ><

      • Reply
        Dusky
        30 May, 2013 at 5:31 AM

        Sometimes a good rant session is what we all need. 😀 Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Presentations sound awfully stressful to me. I think it’s great that you are able to prepare for one! I hope that it works out!

  • Reply
    prashanth
    29 May, 2013 at 1:21 AM

    When I first read the title, I wondered what are “non-replies”? because they probably could be called ‘no-replies’! ㅎㅎㅎㅎ I had enough with these ‘no-replies’ for past 2 years in my job search process. I would feel better if the job providers just reply me back saying I don’t qualify or am not suitable for the job I applied. I later assumed myself that’s how it is in western world! They are too busy for everything, may be!

    I hope you feel better now after your rant, Shanna! ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:33 PM

      HAHAHA you’re totally right. I don’t know what got into me to say “non replies” Doesn’t make any sense now that I think about it ㅋㅋㅋㅋ No replies in job applications are the norm, and I feel less annoyed about them since I’m the one that is asking for something (a job). Hate it when people ask me for a favor and then not reply. Who’s doing who the favor ><

      • Reply
        prashanth
        30 May, 2013 at 2:52 PM

        I guess I won’t be too bothered nowadays for ‘no replies’ even if they were the ones who asked the favor, cuz lately I made myself less sensitive because of ‘no replies’ in relationships like virtual friendships where some ppl just disappear forever or just don’t contact us even if they did not disappear completely from internet.

        Probably, this is better instead of creating dramas among our own lives by being too bothered, of course, that doesn’t mean I’m going to become the same person and do “no replies” or something! hahaha! I wonder if you get what I meant here, cuz I feel I am just bla bla’ng something unrelated!

  • Reply
    Van
    29 May, 2013 at 6:38 AM

    I know you feel! Probably not the same situations, but I wish they would just reply to me if I got the job like prashanth says! Also I hate no replies either, especially if it’s a short message and you know they checked like kakaotalk like number thing. Or LINE says it has been read already. Is it so hard to reply to it? Or the ones where they texted you and you text them back like 1 minute after and they don’t reply for like hours ><…. Yeah I think you probably get a lot of people asking for things without even being polite about it. I would be frustrated and angry a lot also..

    힘내요! I think you're right though, it's seems to be the norm.. I hope you will be stressed these days~~

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:31 PM

      hahaha LINE!! yeahhh kinda annoying at times when you asked an important question and the person doesn’t reply even though it says “read”. lolol.

  • Reply
    Kat
    29 May, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    Yep, no replies are completely the norm in the States as well and are the worst. The hiring process in my field is a standard 2 months for any job and even if you have interviewed five times with the company, they might just decide to never respond again because they hired someone else, can’t budget the position anymore, etc.–all stuff that would be okay if they would just send an email letting you know you aren’t a candidate. Even better is when they disappear off the radar for months with no reply to you and then pop out of the blue immediately expecting a response!

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      29 May, 2013 at 4:30 PM

      urghh that sucks. I guess no replies are the standard when it comes to job applications, so I’m more or less resigned to the fact.

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