Damn I’m getting older
When I first started this blog I was in my teens. Now I’m in my twenties.
6 years with Korean. That has to be the longest relationship I have with something inanimate. And it has been with me through some of the highest high and lowest low in my life.
I can’t say I feel the same way about Korean as I did 6 years ago. Korean was like <3 to me back then, now it's prob like :S hahaha I still feel a lot of love for the language itself, but sorry the rosy picture is broken. This year, there's so much negativity that I grew to associate with the whole thing that it's affecting the way I see the language. It's like how you may end up hating the song that was playing in the background while u were fighting with ur bf... you know... irrational feelings but it's still real. I'm finding it a little hard to face Korean head-on these days, but I'm trying! The whole "what does Korean mean to me" question has been bogging me for the whole year and I tried my darnest best to find and carve out an answer to it. Maybe being too determined to find an answer was not the right way. 慢慢來比較快?? I tried to force out an answer and now it made me want to avoid the whole issue altogether lol. Read somewhere before that all of us have a few talents or things we are good at which we don't really know what to do with or never ended up doing much with them. Then come the question of "must we do something with them". This is why i love Nodame Cantabile so damn much. Nodame has some damn awesome piano talent, but yet she just wishes to be a kindergarten teacher. To everyone else, its like bordering on criminal waste of talent, but is it truly a bad thing to just enjoy music? I like how all these interesting issues are raised in that show (i can write a whole essay on it lol). I got to know of this friend who is damn good in Japanese and was learnin Korean (6 yrs ago). Said person was working in job that totally did not use any of his/her language skills and we all thought it was such a waste and rather stupid since the person could have landed a better job. Now, I do not pass judgement that easily. Sometimes things are not so clear cut and 'not making full use of our skills and talents' does not necessarily mean that we do not treat it seriously or belittle it. This road of finding our own identity is so tough. Seriously there are enough convincing arguments for either way that in the end, its really about choice rather than right or wrong. 「この世に偶然なんてないわ。あるのは、必然だけ。」 I really like this quote from xxxholic (I LOVED THE WISDOM IN THAT SHOW) and I do believe that there's learning in everything and everything has meaning. Because of the hiatus I'm taking (from Korean), I somehow ended up taking up Japanese seriously. (: This year I really poured in quite a bit of effort into Japanese and I'm really enjoying it!! ^^ It also reminds me of how its like to enjoy learnin a language and it helps to take my mind off a lot of things. Pretty productive way of relaxing lol (: I know this blog is getting somewhat further from the 'korean learning journey' theme but I hope you guys will still be with me (: