17 In Korean learning journey (:/ Others / General

충격

I received such a huge shock today that I’m … still in shock. Today is the day that I seriously question why did I work so damn hard on Korean. I practically gave my all for this and I feel like it has just shattered in front of me.

I know life doesn’t always go according to plans, but this….

I admit that for a moment, I really thought of just giving up on everything Korean. Just stop studying, stop dedicating my time and effort and life to this, and give up on the blog while I’m at it.

Scary thoughts, but yes, I did feel so terrible to actually entertain such thoughts.

Don’t worry. I won’t do it.

Obstacles are meant to be crossed, but it couldn’t have come at a shittier time than this.

#ohwell

울 수 있을만큼 울었는데 그래도 소용없잖아. 이제 강해져야 돼.

I did contemplate whether I should write this down in the blog or not. But this blog is supposed to be my honest thoughts and my learning journey, so yup.

I can’t deny I feel terribly lost and upset at the moment. And I can so anticipate the other few 충격s that may come as well. D: D: Please don’t come. I need that glimmer of hope.

2013, I don’t know how I feel about you.

I really don’t.

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17 Comments

  • Reply
    faeleia
    5 February, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Hey girl… why the defeat? I would write something in korean to cheer you up but lol I think you’ll cry at my pathetic attempt instead lol.  

    泣かないでね^^

    がっかりしているときにはGREEEENの曲を聞いてるのを好きのよ!一人じゃないことを忘れず、応援歌でも聞いて、好きなことをして、気分UPできると思う。

    Crying is a way to express frustration, and it’s a reaction but it’s not a solution, so don’t feel discouraged by why whatever this is, is happening now. No one may be able to understand what you’re going through, but look at you, you’ve gone so far! From nothing, to accomplished reader and writer and speaker of korean! At a young age! That’s something to be proud of. You can’t expect to score and fly past every stage with flying colours, and not everything will be easy and smooth.

    Just take the time to manage your feelings, and then go do something else, and then come back to it. Korean language is not going anywhere, and you quitting on it will not make you unlearn the language, so you can’t quit even if you wanted 😛

    힘내! 항상 화이팅!

    • Reply
      Vanessa
      5 February, 2013 at 9:39 PM

      I totally agree on this (except for the part written in japanese, because I can’t read it! hahaha)
      Plus we don’t know what life keeps for us in the future. But everything you learn will be useful someday.
      I study korean just as a hobby, I don’t plan on living in Korea nor doing a Master’s degree there, so I’ve had the same thought some times too… “why am I learning if (put reason here)?”. But then I remember of the good moments of learning, plus one thing that my mother says: “Knowledge is the only thing no one can ever take away from you”.
      I study because it’s fun and then it’s up to my destiny what I’ll do to it hahaha
      We don’t know what shocked you, but maybe you just need to slow down your rhythm and see more as a hobby than an obligation 🙂 Maybe you end up looking as an obligation without even realizing, and that’s normal.

      • Reply
        faeleia
        6 February, 2013 at 9:34 AM

        ^^ The part in Japanese says that for me, I like to listen to GreeeeN’s songs when I’m feeling defeated and disappointed. In particular one song (GreeeeN – Setsuna) goes:

        ‘all of us definitely want to shine, searching for meaning as we live, not to be defeated, or put down, continuing towards our dreams…’

        and then ‘definitely somewhere in the whole wide world, we feel left alone, but the world continues to spin like today, our worries are tiny and small (in contrast)’

        Their lyrics are uplifting, and whenever I felt alone in my efforts, and when I was in school learning Japanese, understanding what they sang really resonated with me.

        My translations kinda suck, but it’s a beautiful song 🙂

        • Reply
          hangukdrama
          6 February, 2013 at 10:26 AM

          loving the song!

      • Reply
        hangukdrama
        6 February, 2013 at 10:28 AM

        Yeah I think you’re right. Sometimes I do forget that Korean is actually just a hobby. I’ve come to equate it with my everything ><;;

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 10:26 AM

      aww reading all the comments make me feel better already 😀 I guess I was just sorely disappointed over something, but yup I’m okay now and ready to work even harder!

      hehe and what you said is so true. I really can’t unlearn the language. It’s stuck with me forever.

  • Reply
    Abbath
    5 February, 2013 at 7:15 PM

    힘내세요! Maybe you were studying too much. Sometimes we need a pause. ^^

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 10:28 AM

      hehe thanks 😀

  • Reply
    xing
    5 February, 2013 at 8:06 PM

    what happened D:
    I’m sure things will go smoother as time goes by, you might want to slow things down and pick up other hobbies but never give up, hang on there! 🙂

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 10:29 AM

      something made me upset but I now think that instead of wallowing over it, I should buck up and work harder

  • Reply
    Karla
    5 February, 2013 at 8:16 PM

    Although we may not know the thing that shocked you,I hope that thing will not put you down.Instead that will make you stronger. When times get tough ,Korean has been a comfort to me.I hope Korean will be a great comfort to you too. Cheer up Shanna!

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 10:29 AM

      Thanks Karla! 😀 Having you guys cheer me up is already a great comfort ^^

  • Reply
    Koreanlearner
    6 February, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    Whatever happened, please don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m guessing something you would like to have happened didn’t go entirely according to the plan, but some things are just out of our control and not everything people will say/do/something that happens is because you did something wrong. You may still have done everything right!

    There was once a Danish guy who competed in the Tour de France and after one particularly bad day the press cornered him after the finish line to ask what went wrong. His only answer was “the others were just driving so damn fast”. Doping discussions aside, the guy had a point. Sometimes you cannot control everything.

    • Reply
      faeleia
      6 February, 2013 at 9:26 AM

      lol!! That guy is honest!

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 10:30 AM

      hahaha!! i like that guy XD Sometimes I think I want/expect too much control over my plans and life. Feeling much better already, thanks!

  • Reply
    AJ
    6 February, 2013 at 7:20 PM

    Perhaps you are burned out? It definitely sounds like it with the intense studying and you may need a short break so that you come back to it refreshed!
    To achieve Level 6 in a few short years is simply amazing and you do not give yourself enough credit for what you are doing. I am coming up on three years in Korea (two of which spent studying intensely off and and on) and at this point Level 3/4 is just slightly possible. During this same time period, you’re at a much higher level!!
    Also, what are your long-term plans? I know you love it simply because of the language and culture. But is your plan to go to to university in Korea? And maybe even get a job or start a family in the far future?
    Give yourself a realistic reason for studying and you will know why you are studying so much and so diligently! All the best!

    • Reply
      hangukdrama
      6 February, 2013 at 7:39 PM

      It’s not about studying at all, but concerns my plans (: Mm ideally I do want to settle in Korea somehow, but it’s proving to be a lot more difficult than I think. Especially finance wise D:

    Leave a Reply to hangukdrama Cancel Reply